i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize