i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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