Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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