i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
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She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
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You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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