i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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