I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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