Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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