I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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