Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
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I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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