She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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