Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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