In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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