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hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
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