you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
this hospital has no fireball
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize