I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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