I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
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You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We just shotgunned beers for America
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
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Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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