dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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