google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
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I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
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Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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