In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
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Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
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I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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