After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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