Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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