literally had 100 drinks last night.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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