I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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