You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize