I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize