Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize