3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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