Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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