he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Drake has all the answers
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize