I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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