This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize