The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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