i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize