I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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