I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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