I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize