I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The adults are the big ones right?
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