im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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