who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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