Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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