I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize