I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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