Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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