You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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