Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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