Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
so much tequila, so little girl.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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