You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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