Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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