My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize