AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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